Who are you anymore?
by castielstrenchcoat
Summary: Alec betrayed Magnus, resulting in their breakup. Can Magnus forgive him? It takes place Post-COLS. Malec Oneshot with bits of Sizzy.
1. Chapter 1

**Sorry this first chapter is really short**

**I do not own these characters**

**Italicized are Alec's thoughts**

** Alec's POV**

Alec ducked, just in time. The demon was approaching him fast. It has long claws and spikes along its jagged body. It reached out at Alec, trying hard to scratch him. Alec was hiding behind a bench.

"Asasiel," he yelled. The blade in his hands glowed. He let out a deep breath and got up to face the demon. The demon screeched. Its back flexed, exposing more spikes. It glided towards Alec, one arm outstretched. It swooped its arm quickly, trying to knock Alec off balance. But Alec was expecting this. He raised the blade and it went through the demon's arm. It screamed and backed away. Alec raced after it and plunged the blade through the demon's chest. THe demon gave one final screech before turning into a liquid black. The black disappeared soon after. Alec gasped, catching his breath. That demon was strong and tougher than most. But nothing Alec couldn't handle. He was a shadowhunter. He was born and raised to fight demons like that one. Alec paused, not sure where to go.

He had recently broken up with his warlock boyfriend, Magnus. Alec refused to call him again. _Magnus will call when he wants to, _he thought. Alec sighed. If only he hadn't gone to Camille to ask whether or not he could strip Magnus of his immortality. He was a fool for meeting with Camille. Now Magnus didn't want him. _I could go over there, _he thought, _I could try to patch things up with him... No. I can't deal with that now. _Alec gave up and headed over to the Institute.

He passed the big gates, still thinking about Magnus, when he ran into Isabelle.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Isabelle said. Then seeing the scratches and torn up clothing she asked, "Whoa. Are you okay, Alec?" Isabelle's face turned into one of worry.

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine," Alec mumbled. Isabelle didn't look convinced.

"Are you sure? Because I don't have to go see Simon, I can stay here with you," Isabelle said, still worried.

"Seriously, Izzy, I'm fine. And why are you always at Simon's house anyway?" Alec said narrowing his eyes.

"He's just nice. And he's Simon. That's all," Isabelle shrugged. Alec was unconvinced, but Simon was a nice guy. _If there's anyone that's good for Izzy, it's Simon,_ He thought.

"Well I'll see you later," Isabelle said and then walked past the iron gates.

"Bye," Alec said. He walked up the steps and into the institute. The institute was large and grand. It had high ceilings and expensive trinkets lining the walls. He walked up the stairs and into his room. He threw his stele on the ground and fell onto his bed. He lay there with his hands over his chest. Alec couldn't stop thinking about Magnus. _Maybe I should just... call him or something. _Alec sighed and got out his phone in defeat. First, he checked his messages. It was empty. _Maybe he's better off without me. _Alec hesitated. Then quickly punched in Magnus' number. He pressed call, then waited in anticipation.

_"This is Magnus Bane's phone. I'm very busy right now, please leave a message. BEEP." _the phone said after a minute.

"Uh.. Hi.. It's.. um.. Alec. I was wondering if maybe.. you would want to come over to the Institute? You don't have to.. just if you want to.." Alec said clenching his jaw. This wasn't sounding as good as he hoped. "Um.. bye." he finished and hung up the phone quickly. He laid back on the bed, angry with himself. That made him sound desperate, like he couldn't function without Magnus. _Oh well. Maybe he'll come 'round._


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This is in Magnus' point of view, and his thoughts are italicized. Thank you for the reviews! I have read them and I will take all future reviews into consideration for this fanfiction. I expect this fanfiction will have 5 or 6 chapters. Until then, I hope you enjoy, my fellow shadowhunters!

_Beep! Beep! Beep! _Magnus' alarm clock screeched. His hand reached over to hit the snooze button. The clock wouldn't turn off. Magnus put his hand right above the alarm clock and a few blue wisps came out of his hand. It surrounded the alarm clock and the clock exploded. Magnus yawned and got up scratching his head.

_"_What a shame. I really liked that clock," Magnus muttered. Magnus looked across the room. _What year is it?_ he thought. He tried to sit up, and his head hurt. He put up a hand to his head and began running his fingers through his dark hair. He yawned, and stared at his bed. He remembered how Alec would sleep in; the way the bed shaped around Alec. He covered his face with his hands.

"Alec made his choice," Magnus said sighing.

Earlier that year, Alec had visited Camille, Magnus' vampire ex-girlfriend. Alec had tried to learn how he could strip Magnus of his immortality. Magnus had been considering the option, but Alec had no right to go behind his back to Camille. That was unforgivable.. right? Magnus was confused. Over his lifespan, Magnus had had many lovers, but there was something about Alec that he couldn't shake. Something that made him stand out from the rest. Magnus picked up his phone on his nightstand. He fiddled with it, thinking. _No, I won't call him. He should call first and explain why he would go to Camille without his permission. _He turned it on, surprised to see that it said "One voicemail from Alec" on the screen. He unlocked the phone and listening to Alec's voice coming through the speakers. Magnus felt like he hadn't heard the voice in ages. Alec's voice made Magnus shiver with emotion. That voice was enough to break him over all these years. When it was over, Magnus sat on his bed staring at nothing. Without thinking, Magnus put on a fresh blue shirt with blue pants and ran over the New York Institute.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry this is so late! Anyway, I decided to go in a much more heartbreaking route than I intended. Thank you so much for the favorites, follows, and reviews! Please continue to review! Anyway, enjoy!

Magnus' point of view

Magnus ran to the institute, and pushed open the gates. His neck felt bare, he had forgotten to put on a scarf. But Magnus didn't care. All that mattered to him now was finding Alec. Magnus saw a figure on the steps of the Institute. He slowed down; _Alec, _he thought. Then he saw the blond hair. He sighed, but continued walking. Magnus tried to keep his head down; he knew from first-hand experience how protective Herondales were of their parabatai. Jace spotted Magnus and stood up, his golden eyes furious.

"Don't you think you've caused enough trouble?" Jace asked when Magnus reached him. Jace's eyes were filled with sadness.

"Please," Magnus said, looking straight at Jace.

"Well. You haven't seen the state of him," Jace scoffed.

"No, I haven't," Magnus said. Jace stared at him, deciding whether or not to let the warlock pass. Jace could see the regret in his eyes and reluctantly let Magnus pass. Then he turned around and with a burning whisper he said, "But if you _ever_, hurt Alec again.. by the angel, for your sake you better hope you don't." Magnus knew this was an empty threat, Jace was no match for Magnus, but having an furious parabatai after you was not something to laugh at. Magnus nodded and walked into the Institute as Jace sat back down on the steps. Magnus opened the doors of the Institute.

Alec was there, looking like he had been waiting for Magnus a few hours. He was sitting in a gorgeous white chair, underneath the crystal chandelier.

"Magnus," Alec whispered. Magnus stared straight at Alec's blue eyes. He gave Alec a short nod and said, "Alec."

"So, I'm guessing you got my voicemail," Alec said, combing a hand in his dark hair. Magnus could see how the dark strands ruffled, and remembered how the soft hair felt when Magnus himself had put his hands in it.

"Yes," Magnus said curtly. Everything Magnus had wanted to say was forgotten when he saw Alec. Alec looked as if he hadn't slept in days, and his blue eyes were tired but relieved.

"I... I don't like how we left things," Alec said. "I'm sorry, Magnus, I know I shouldn't have gone to Camille like that. Please, Magnus." Alec's eyes turned wild, like Magnus' forgiveness meant the world to him. Magnus' heart leapt and he was shocked. He hadn't been this emotional in years. He opened his mouth and everything fell apart.

"I love you, Alec, and you know that. But we weren't good together. I opened up to you. I haven't done that in many years," Magnus looked into Alec's eyes. "I can't do it, Alec. You're mortal. You'll die and I won't. And I can't deal with the pain of losing you." _I didn't want to say that,_ Magnus' mind argued with his mouth. Alec's blue eyes turned as dark as the ocean during a storm.

"Then why did you even come?" Alec hissed. Magnus stepped back.

"I needed to explain myself to you. You needed to know my reasons for leaving," Magnus said trying to keep his voice calm, cool, unattached. _I will always love you, _he wanted to say. _I can't think about losing you. _

"Get out," Alec whispered. "Please, just leave me alone." Alec turned around and headed up the stairs of the Institute without looking back. If he had, he would've seen the hurt and pain in Magnus' eyes. Magnus left without another word.


End file.
